Anna & Emily play I Found You by Alabama Shakes.
Processional: Symone, Robin, Deb, Liza, Marcus, Chloe, Alison, Daniela
Officiant, Miriam, begins ceremony.
On behalf of Alison and Daniela, I would like to thank you all for being here this afternoon, for taking the time and making the journey, and for all the effort that it takes—not only to be a part of this day, but to be a part of the couple’s lives.
At this time, Alison and Daniela would like to take a moment to acknowledge loved ones who could not make the journey here today: Alison’s father, Jorge, and many of the Abreus, in Florida. Daniela’s family in Mexico, as well as friends in Abu Dhabi, Andorra, France, Thailand, and beyond.
This event is also shared, in spirit, by those who have passed on. Alison and Daniela would like to express their gratitude to those who have come before them. To their grandparents, for their love, wisdom, support, and legacy, especially as they form a new family together. Please join us in fond memory of: Alison’s grandparents, Bebe, Jorge, Roberto, Angel, and Julia. Daniela’s grandparents, Luis, Herminia, Gustavo, and MariaEstella.
Daniela and Alison met five years ago. Their love grew over many sushi dinners, emails from eight time zones away, long autumn car rides, and stacks of shared books.
Daniela is the sort of person who will make Alison dance at the subway station while they wait for the train, and Alison is the sort of person who makes sure they take the right train.
Alison alphabetizes her books, and Daniela organizes them by color.
Daniela can make a story up out of thin air, and Alison can never keep a straight face.
Alison rarely cooks the same meal twice, and Daniela has perfected her apple pie after making it the same way 100 times.
Alison is an extroverted introvert, and Daniela is an introverted extrovert.
Daniela’s community is global, and Alison’s is local.
Their shared values and ambitions unite them, but their differences are what makes them fit so well together. They have built their relationship on strong communication and mutual respect.
In the spirit of love and unity, Alison and Daniela have chosen several readings to share with you today, as they represent the couples commitment to each other.
The first is from “All About Love”, by bell hooks, read by Ally.
In our society, we make much of love and say little of fear. Yet we are all terribly afraid most of the time. Fear is the primary force upholding structures of domination – it promotes the desire for separation, the desire not to be known. When we are taught that safety lies in sameness, then difference of any kind will appear as a threat. When we choose to love, we choose to move against fear, against alienation and separation. The choice to love is a choice to connect, to find ourselves in the other.
To live our lives based on the principles of a love ethic – showing care, respect, knowledge, integrity, and the will to cooperate – we have to be courageous. Learning how to face our fears is one way we embrace love. Our fear may not go away, but it will not stand in the way. Those of us who have already chosen to embrace a love ethic – allowing it to govern and inform how we think and act – know that when we let our light shine, we draw to us and are drawn to other bearers of light. We are not alone.
The second reading is called “Habitation,” by Margaret Atwood, read by Robin.
Marriage is not
a house or even a tent
it is before that, and colder:
the edge of the forest, the edge
of the desert
the unpainted stairs
at the back where we squat
outside, eating popcorn
the edge of the receding glacier
where painfully and with wonder
at having survived even
this far
we are learning to make fire
The third reading is by Jeanette Winterson, read by Karen.
You don't fall in love like you fall in a hole. You fall like falling through space. It’s like you jump off your own private planet to visit someone else’s planet. And when you get there it all looks different: the flowers, the animals, the colours people wear. It is a big surprise falling in love because you thought you had everything just right on your own planet, and that was true, in a way, but then somebody signalled to you across space and the only way you could visit was to take a giant jump. Away you go, falling into someone else’s orbit and after a while you might decide to pull your two planets together and call it home. And you can bring your dog. Or your cat. Your goldfish, hamster, collection of stones, all your odd socks. (The ones you lost, including the holes, are on the new planet you found.)
A wedding ceremony is not magic. It will not create a relationship that does not already exist. This marriage has been rooted in all of the commitments that Alison and Daniela have made to each other, both large and small, since the day they met.
What we are celebrating today, is not the beginning of a marriage, but a marriage-already-in- progress. This ceremony is a symbol of how far they have come together. It is a witnessing of the promises that they will continue to make to each other throughout their lives.
Every person present here has the opportunity to be an advocate for Daniela and Alison’s relationship. Before you hear the couple exchange their vows, do you, their family and friends, promise to support them in creating a strong and loving marriage? If so, say, “We do.”
We do!
Alison and Daniela will now share their vows.
Daniela, I want my life to be filled with the joy that you bring me. I want to be stuck in snow storms with you. I want to watch every weird niche documentary with you. I want my sleep deprivation to come from our late night conversations and pun competitions. I want to know the names you’re going to give to every inanimate object you come across. I want to be a part of the love and loyalty you give your community.
I chose your silly and serious love. In return...
Alison,
I pledge to be your equal partner in every aspect of this marriage.
I pledge to never keep score… even when I’m winning… because love is not a competition.
I pledge to listen for as long as it takes for you to feel heard, and not try to fix things right away.
I pledge to send ten text messages, a random article, and multiple emojis, for every one text I get from you.
Most importantly, I pledge to love you.
I promise to create a home for us that is safe, nurturing, welcoming and kind.
I promise to fill your life with laughter, playfulness, creativity, and warmth.
I promise to name any animals, plants, or inanimate objects that make it past our front door.
I promise to stop asking you for a dog, once we actually adopt a dog.
Most importantly, I promise that I will love you.
I vow to watch in awe as you kick butt and take names, whether it be in your career or our community.
I vow to be your personal one-woman cheerleading squad when you second-guess yourself sometimes.
I vow to keep you up at night, captivated in conversation, getting to know each other in new and unexpected ways.
I vow to tell you the same childhood stories over and over, despite you knowing them by heart.
Most importantly, I vow that I will love you.
I believe that 'me time' is essential and I appreciate your individuality (and hope that you enjoy hiking alone).
I believe that Vick’s Vapor Rub is good for the body, and cuddling with you is essential for my soul.
I believe that your love of puns is, punfortunately, punstoppable, and I have to be punderstanding about it (punderstanding is a punderstatement).
I believe that, no matter how frequently or far I travel for work, there is no time or place I'm more content than when I’m with you.
Most importantly, I believe that I will always love you.
When you love someone, you do not delight in their presence all the time and in exactly the same way. In love, as in life, strength and stability are found in change, in growth, and in freedom. Therefore, what you have promised to each other today must be renewed and reaffirmed tomorrow, and all the tomorrows to come.
Today I ask you, Alison Abreu-Garcia, do you promise to do your very best each day to create an honest, healthy, kind, and loving marriage?
I do.
Daniela Arreola Segrove, do you promise to do your very best each day to create an honest, healthy, kind, and loving marriage?
I do.
Marcus, the rings, please.
Please take hands. And all of you who love each other, please take each other’s hands as well.
To reach out to someone and to be acknowledged and loved is a human need. Taking the hand of the one who loves you creates a humble but powerful bond. Please take a good look at your partner’s hands, so that you may see the gift that they are to you. These are the hands of your best friend, that are holding yours on your wedding day. These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as you build your future together. These are the hands that when wrinkled and arthritic will still be reaching for yours.
Alison and Daniela, you may exchange rings.
Alison and Daniela exchange rings.
At this point in the ceremony, I will ask for the "padrinos” or godparents, to wrap a cord around the couple’s shoulders. Alison and Daniela have chosen this married couple, Danny and Wendy, to serve as role models for their new union. The “lassoing” act, popular in traditional Catholic Mexican culture, is a ritual unifying the couple together in marriage. The figure eight represents the mathematical symbol for infinity-- no beginning and no end.
Danny & Wendy come up to lasso Alison and Daniela.
As testament to the couple’s respect and admiration for one another, as well as their unifying belief in social justice and kindness for all, Lucy will now read Mario Benedetti’s “Te Quiero”.
Tus manos son mi caricia
mis acordes cotidianos
te quiero porque tus manos
trabajan por la justicia
si te quiero es porque sos
mi amor mi cómplice y todo
y en la calle codo a codo
somos mucho más que dos
tus ojos son mi conjuro
contra la mala jornada
te quiero por tu mirada
que mira y siembra futuro
tu boca que es tuya y mía
tu boca no se equivoca
te quiero porque tu boca
sabe gritar rebeldía
si te quiero es porque sos
mi amor mi cómplice y todo
y en la calle codo a codo
somos mucho más que dos
y por tu rostro sincero
y tu paso vagabundo
y tu llanto por el mundo
porque sos pueblo te quiero
y porque amor no es aureola
ni cándida moraleja
y porque somos pareja
que sabe que no está sola
te quiero en mi paraíso
es decir que en mi país
la gente viva feliz
aunque no tenga permiso
si te quiero es porque sos
mi amor mi cómplice y todo
y en la calle codo a codo
somos mucho más que dos
No one but you can declare yourselves married.
You have come here today to speak your vows before your friends and family, as you will do again in the days and years to come. Standing by each other’s side, you will share the highs and lows that life has to offer, a unified front made stronger and wiser with time.
My hope for you is this:
May you have health and many long years to delight in each other’s company.
May you love and be loved by the friends and family who have come here today to support you.
May you make a home together that is at once both sheltering and welcoming.
May you each do meaningful, impactful work at home and in the world, learning from your failures and growing in your accomplishments.
May you have, despite all challenges, serenity and peace, courage and patience, optimism and hope.
And may your days be filled with laughter, imagination, trust, friendship, and love.
Danny and Wendy, please remove the lasso.
Danny & Wendy remove the lasso.
Alison and Daniela, by the power vested in me by Universal Life Church Ministries and the State of New York, you may seal your vows and conclude this ceremony with a kiss!
Alison & Daniela kiss
Anna and Emily play an instrumental version of I Found You by Alabama Shakes
